Thursday, October 2, 2014

Ripples and Reactions

When you shatter the peace of my worlds, 
Do not expect me to be still.
Do not expect me to pretend that I'm fine.
Do not expect me to shut down my own hurts.
Do not expect me to be dense,
To shut up, to act unaffected.

When a butterfly flaps its wings
In a land distant from mine,
It sends a signal to my bubble of space,
Heats up the skies above my head,
Stirs the air around me,
Agitates, stirs, moves the clouds to cry,
To form oceans and whirlpools
That cover the walking surfaces of my world.

When you breathe, the energy you expel,
Disturbs the molecules around me.
The germs of your heart seep into mine.
The virus of your thoughts
Do not stay quarantined in your head.
It finds its way out,
Spreading, invading, infecting,
Whether we like it or not,
Whether you planned it or not,
No matter how we protest that it shouldn't be.

Because no one lives in a vacuum.
No one exists in isolation.
There's an ecological balance to relationships.
There's an interconnection, a fine thread that runs,
Snaking its way through minds, hearts, hands, spirit
In parties, conversations, coffee dates, meetings,
In heavy musings, rabid messaging, and silent sighs,
In the wee hours of mornings, the bright glare of days,
At night when the loneliness weighs down,
Or that last wishful prayer before the dreams set in, 
Poking, binding, blinding,
Strangling, chafing, knotting, weaving,
Killing, stifling, sticking,
Holding, healing, breathing life.

I am not blind.
I am not callous.
I am not impervious.
I feel.
I see.
I think.
I reason.
I love.
I seethe.
I rebel.
I hurt when someone hurts.
I flinch when someone pinches someone else.
Just like you do.

If you can't control your passions,
Then don't try to control mine.
If you can't fix your emotions,
Then do not manipulate my own.
I cannot sit in a little peg
In a world you have designed
To be quaint and quiet,
Where only you can feel.
You cannot will me to be still.
I cannot gag my ideas to suit yours.

When you exercise your right to emote.
Know that that privilege causes you to provoke.
To goad, to peeve, to alter the emotional landscape.
For you do not hold the franchise to feelings.

Newton said it--Any action
Is met by an equal and opposite reaction,
You offend; I defend.
You launch; I punch.
You push, I shove.
You hate, I protect whom I love.

Maybe I can respect your decisions.
Maybe I can see your point of view.
But would you respect my right
To react, to feel, to speak up in anger?

Ripples in nature,
Waves in the sea,
Fissures on the earth,
Geological shakeups of the past.
This leads to this, and that causes that.
The whispered ire, the secret roars
Escape their dark places,
To gather momentum,
And explode.
And hit everything on the path.

What's shattered is shattered.
The shards of what you've broken
Have turned to dust,
Blown away by the wind,
Then a speck lodges in my eye.
Though I've tried to remain stoic,
And tried to keep my peace,
Holding on to the pieces salvaged,
In a world that’s been ravaged,
My hand has  to let go,
To wipe away the sting.
And yet the memory of that speck
Lingers, still hurting my eye.
And I cry
For a world forever changed
For a time now long gone.